Your topic is about improving relation handling.
And all of the issues you are bringing up, regarding TiddlyWiki’s relation handling, are all related to data integrity, a database management concept, and handling relations for data integrity is in the DNA of any DBMS.
My understanding by all I’ve read: you want your plugin to handle things that any DBMS handles naturally.
If that’s not what you want to accomplish, then this entire thread of conversation is giving some really easy to misinterpret cues. Might be a good idea to clarify what you are trying to accomplish.
Or, maybe everybody but me gets what you are trying to accomplish, in which case don’t be wasting your time with me. Much easier for me to withdraw. No worries.